I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
