I have demons in me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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