im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
