The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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