rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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