Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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