My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
