maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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