Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
