You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
