If you die in college, do you die in real life?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
