Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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