Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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