i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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