Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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