You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
