I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
