Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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