After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
