bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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