Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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