: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
