I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
