I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
