if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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