You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
