I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
