is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
