You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
