I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
