pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it's like iHOP with fire
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
whose parrot is this?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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