You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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