think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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