I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I intend to get homeless drunk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
