i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
