so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
tell me about the fingering
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
