I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
