I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
