He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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