Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
