So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I died a long time ago.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
