Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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