in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
