i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
