She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
