I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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