i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
