i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
