Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
