yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
