Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
