Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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